What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Vodka?
Forever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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