whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
