i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
