if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
