have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
