never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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