Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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