Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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