Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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