Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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