New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
