Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
