i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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