You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
