this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
