She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
