I look better un-naked...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
