i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
