You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize