She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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