It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
