those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize