Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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