im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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