If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
