The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
