please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
