i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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