No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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