Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
