And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
did you just send me my own nude
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
