No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
