Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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