on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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