She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
