At least make sure they are 18
Why
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
smell my finger.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
