I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My vagina just clenched in fear
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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