Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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