I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
how drunk are you?
Several
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize