Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
