If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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