Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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