I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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