is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
