Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize