Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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