we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize