nut hugger
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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