is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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