Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
