I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
