This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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