he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
