The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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