How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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