@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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