Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
