I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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