Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
