420 ftw
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
