i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
