i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
