my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
