I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
