all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
